I started a course on Sunday evening. It’s six weeks long and I don’t think I’ve been so excited about doing something in a long time.
What’s funny is that this isn’t a course I would normally do.
When I’ve worked with a coach or enrolled in the many personal development courses and qualifications I’ve done over the last 8 years, I’ve been doing them because I was missing something.
The first coach I hired was to get myself better business habits, the second was to help me reconnect to myself and create some consistency in my business. The courses I have done have ranged from reiki (I LOVE reiki and will be doing my level 2 very soon, so watch this space), yoga teacher trainings and of course my adult education qualifications, Diploma in Professional Coaching and ongoing professional development.
There is one thing I notice about all of these- I’ve enrolled in all of these for reasons that have come from the same intrinsic space, one that I am sure many of us have found ourselves holidaying at before.
You’ll know it. The tropical island called I’m not enough. It can be found between Comparison Island and Am I worthy atoll.
It’s not the best place for a holiday because it makes you question constantly whether what you’re doing is worth it. It can leave you feeling like there is a piece missing, something that you as a person have lost.
Now, we all know that we have to do professional development in some way to grow in our roles. We need coaches and mentors to assist us with the things we don’t know or want to improve. None of my coaches have ever made me feel less than, this feeling was, and is all on me as it will be on you but that’s for another blog.
How do we move away from doing things that aren’t about us ‘missing’ something and instead are about us building the strength, ability or knowledge that we already have?
I spoke to a student yesterday and during our conversation she said “I know what I have to do, I just have to write it down.”
She had realised that to complete her course it didn’t matter what she was holding in her head, it was what she decided to write in the assignment that mattered.
I think this encompasses most of what I am saying here:
“Knowledge needs embodiment”
We sit at our desks, or in the conference room listening to speakers, trainers or coaches and we nod in agreement to what they’re helping us with. We listen for the tips that will help us to do our job more efficiently or live our life with more purpose and we talk, the talk about how this is going to make such a difference. We get excited and make plans with post-it notes, streamline our processes based on this new information and then…
It might move forward for a few days or weeks, but then we lose it again. The knowledge that we have gained dissipates and we once again fall into imposter syndrome or thinking we need another course, another coach to make us enough.
No amount of professional or personal development courses, hiring coaches or trainers will change the makeup of yourself (or a team) unless you’re willing to implement and maintain the changes that will encompass your strengths.
You know you’re enough right? Just as you are. You have so many skills, qualities, talents that your workmates and friends likely envy. Why would you not embody and show those off.
You know you don’t have to wait for someone to say that you’re allowed to right? If you know that this is something you can help with in your personal or professional life and you have space to do so- Stand up! Show up!
You know you don’t need to wait for permission from a coach, guide, teacher, mentor or boss to be your best self right? You can choose to be that person now.
Because I know this is way easier said than done (100% I do this too), here’s four tips for you to get you started:
- If you’re in the professional space, only sign up to do the professional development that lights you up. If you’re asked to do a course at work, and you just know that it’s not in your zone of genius or there is something else you know that you can offer to the company that is far more beneficial to you and them, speak to your manager and arrange that. You’ll embody the knowledge from a course you’re interested in far more than one you’re not. It’s a win win.
- If you choose to work with a coach or mentor, ask yourself ‘why that person and what will you gain?’ Is it that they have what you want or is it that you feel a deep connection to their guidance? Feeling connected to the guidance they will offer you means you’re more likely to engage and implement what they’re asking you to do. That is much more powerful than them just having what you want.
- Stop signing up for everything and everyone. If your email inbox is flooded with emails from people you no longer feel connected to delete and unsubscribe. Free content is amazing (look out for my freebie coming soon) but if it’s coming from someone who you no longer resonate with, it’s not helping your brain or your inbox to declutter. I currently have FIVE people who I resonate with and make an effort to read their emails, listen to their podcasts and consider both their paid and free offerings. This means my inbox is much freer and I know that the people I’m engaging with energetically are supporting what I need right now. There is nothing worse than someone coming into your inbox, reminding you that you don’t feel good enough.
- What evidence do you have that shows you’re enough? Get out a pen and paper or pull out notes on your phone and write down what knowledge you already have and how you embody that. Keep adding to the list and have it close by so you can pull it out to read if you’re having an off day. You don’t need to wait for your yearly review to notice the impact you’re having.
So back to this course I’m so excited about and why it’s so different.
It’s not about doing. It’s about being.
It’s about mothering and loving myself, acknowledging my complexities and welcoming them in as a part of me.
It’s using practices that move energy that is stored in my body, releasing it and making space for new creations and thought processes.
It’s about slowing down when all I seem to do is speed up.
It’s about me being enough.
I’m not a jigsaw with a missing piece and neither are you.It does take strength, grace and connection to self to be able to embody that fully. I’m still a work in progress and always will be.
So, next time, you’re considering doing personal or professional development work, consider why you’re choosing to do it.
Are you doing it from a place of ‘I’m not enough’ or from a place of ‘I’m ready to embody more of myself’.
They may seem similar in language however one comes from a space of weakness, the other strength.
Which one would you rather choose?’